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Congrats! You’ve just received a compliment! Perhaps it was about your immaculate personality or that sexy gym bod that you totally have! Either way, you’ve earned someone's praise and admiration. Things are really looking up, aren’t they, bud? But what most don’t realize is that the most important part of receiving a compliment is what comes after. I like to call this part the YBNSTUOEATPMV, short for you-better-not-screw-this-up-or-else-all-that-praise-might-vanish. Now I know what you are thinking: How is that even a difficult problem? Once someone compliments me, it’s done and over, right? Classic rookie mistake. Recall that one time your coworker told you they liked your coat. How did you respond? Did you simply dismiss it, unwilling to grasp that glorious opportunity for an ego boost? Or perhaps you merely stood there like a sad, lonely child who lost their parents at Disneyland after following a worker in a Mickey Mouse suit, which, upon further inspection, looked a lot creepier than you had anticipated. Or even worse, walked along your merry little way in order to avoid engaging in further conversation. If you answered yes to any of those, then, oh boy, do you need my help. Lucky for you, as someone who is showered with compliments daily, I, Austina Xu, expert compliment receiver, am here to help you. 

 

Before we dive into how to receive a compliment, you must first identify what type of compliment you are receiving. Much like people, the world of compliments is filled with the good, the bad, and the ugly. While most are familiar with the first, we should still prepare some hefty firepower in case the latter two were to occur. But fear not, for here are some easy ways you can respond to negative compliments:

 

Fake Flattery- Most of the time fake flattery is used to get on your good side. While most would recommend that you simply smile and carry on, I beg to differ. Do you really want people to think you’re that easy to win over? Puhhleaasee. Assert your dominance and immediately call them out for their superficial praises!

 

PEER: You did sooooo well during your history presentation! Also, absolutely loving the new haircut. 

YOU: Wow, you really think I can’t see right through that little lying mouth of yours? I know all you want is for me to lend you lunch money again. What am I, your human ATM? And don’t think I forgot that time you bought the last sloppy joe even though you knew that I wanted it. So why don’t you take your cheap little lies and go dig around in the garbage for some food like the piece of scum you are! 

 

Envious Compliments- One of the biggest mistakes people make in response to such comments is to apologize for having something that others do not. People who use these compliments desire something of yours, so why should you feel sorry for having it? If you got it, flaunt it!

 

FRIEND: Man, I wish I had your wardrobe.

YOU: Thanks! It’s pretty neat, right? Here I have my collection of Prada and Versace handbags. Gimme a hot sec while I grab my favorite Giorgio Armani fingerless gloves.  

 

Backhanded Compliments- These bad boys are like the child of compliments and criticisms. For these types of comments, I’d suggest addressing them head-on and unleashing all your savagery on your perpetrator. Hey, they asked for it.

 

PEER: You’re really pretty; I’m surprised you don’t have a boyfriend.

YOU: Pfft, look who’s talking. Your boyfriend clearly missed the good looks department when he decided to date you. 

 

If you are unable to think of a witty retort on the spot, a little emotional manipulation will do the trick. Immediately assume a fetal position and sob uncontrollably while staring right into your offender’s eyes with a gaze so piercing it could cut straight through that ice-cold heart of theirs. Proceed to rant about your childhood traumas to the point where it is virtually impossible for them to respond without looking like a total jerk. This should effectively make them wish they never uttered those words on God’s green earth. 

 

Now even if you aren’t me, there is a chance that you may have received a genuine compliment from time to time. When you do, it is pivotal that you do not make a fool out of yourself. After all, this is your time to shine, so don’t let it slip away because of some lackluster response. 

 

The Appearance Compliment- These types of compliments usually go along the lines of “I like your hair today” or “You look gorgeous.” You know, compliments you receive all the time. Now the simplest way to respond is with your typical “thank you.” But if you really want to go above and beyond (and why wouldn’t you) try returning the compliment. This doesn't have to be complicated- just pick the first thing you notice about them and say you like it. Works like a charm:

 

PASSERBY: Nice shirt!

YOU: Aw thanks! I really like your Gucci Ace GG Supreme Bees Leather Lace Up Sneakers! 

 

Simple, right? But what if the person giving the compliment is someone you see frequently? And what if she or he does not own a pair of  Gucci Ace GG Supreme Bees Leather Lace Up Sneakers? If either of these is the case, then there is a chance that responding in such a manner every time they compliment you can come off as ingenuine and shallow. Thus, if the person delivering the compliment happens to be someone you know relatively well who does not own a pair of Gucci Ace GG Supreme Bees Leather Lace Up Sneakers, try spicing things up with a heartfelt remark:

 

FRIEND: Nice shirt!

YOU: Aw, thanks! I really admire your laid-back personality. Sometimes life is an endless abyss trapping us in an entanglement of our own demons, and it is only when we find the ribbons of hope that we learn to embrace the beautiful mess that is humankind. And if it weren’t for you, I would never have broken free from the shackles of my sins. 

 

Service compliment- These compliments are intended to express gratitude and appreciation for your assistance. The most important thing to remember is to never respond in a way that diminishes your act of service. Phrases like “don’t worry, it was nothing” can lower the gravity of a task and make the person feel guilty or inadequate for asking for your help in the first place. Instead, respond with enthusiasm and readiness to assist in the future:

 

FRIEND: It was really kind of you to help me bury Pepe the other day; he meant a lot to me. God, I’m sure going to miss that dog.

YOU: Happy to help! Feel free to contact me if you ever need to bury another pet and/or loved one again!

 

Performance compliments- Performance compliments are a great testament to all the hard work you put into a project. Receiving positive feedback for your dedication is an incredibly gratifying experience, so be upfront about it!

 

PEER: Great presentation today! Loved the confidence. 

YOU: Thanks, I’m so glad you enjoyed it! You know what they say: work hard, play hard. Man, there’s nothing better than being recognized for your efforts. I’m on top of the world right now! Let’s go eat our weight in ice cream to celebrate!  

 

Over-the-top compliments- When I say over-the-top, I mean over-the-top. I’m talking Lady-Gaga’s-2010-MTV-Video-Music-Awards-raw-beef-dress level over the top. Heck, the person who's giving you this compliment might be one of your many suitors who’s planning on professing love to you via a private island getaway. My point is that these compliments are the epitome of extra, and don’t come by that often (unless you’re me). Rather than wasting time trying to come up with a verbal response, demonstrate your appreciation and emotional connection with an equally over-the-top reaction. Think of the saddest thing that could ever happen to you; some examples include and are not limited to: you failing a college-entrance exam, you failing a college-entrance exam on your birthday, you failing a college-entrance exam on your birthday after promising your mom that you’d get into Harvard, you failing a college-entrance exam on your birthday after promising your mom that you’d get into Harvard and then your cat dying from rabies shortly after breaking the news to her. Remember: the closer you come to crying, the better. For the cherry on top, give the person a big, long hug afterward. Not only will this heighten the emotional intensity of the moment, but it’s also a great way to avoid having to talk. Plus, who doesn’t like a good hug?

 

SUITOR #15: You are the apple of my eye, the sun to my moon, the pepper to my salt! The only person in the world that coul- … A-are you alright? 

YOU: (aggressive sobbing)

 

There you have it, seven easy ways to respond to a compliment. Wasn’t that the most brilliant article you’ve ever read? It was all thanks to the blood, sweat, and tears I poured into this masterpiece. Never in my life have I felt so properly acknowledged for my efforts! What’s that? You love my hair even though you have no idea what I look like? Aww, thanks! I love your eyes, you know, the ones that allowed you to read my magnum opus! Anyways, while I treat myself to a self-congratulatory Netflix marathon, feel free to take a few moments to let my wisdom marinate in your mind, and soon enough, you'll become an expert compliment receiver in no time!